midst oo everything..

i m currently in e midst of reading up some lecture notes.. when i thot i shld reflect my working styles, learning attitudes and level o determination in doin things..

i m veri half hearted... my mind is not all on working... my mind will switch off when i realize my hands are free frm tasks. i fear o pple asking mi qtns.. coz i m not knowledgable enough.. though i fear.. i nvr pick up my book n do some research, neither do i search the internet for info nor open my mouth to ask.

i realised or rather i felt when i work .. pple are looking at mi.. pple more experienced/senior are looking at mi.. i felt intimidated. i dunnoe if i m doin e rite thing tt they would expect o mi to do. i huf no style o my o own. y? becoz i do not read up do not update myself wif e latest knowledge. so no knowledge = no foundation = no principle = no own working style tt adheres to appropriate tasks.

now considering my attitude.. y no knowledge? coz i m LAZY. so i dun huf knowledge. i dun bother to read up! i spent my free times out o e house.. not to e library.. but to climb.. to pool.. to cycle.. to play... to meet my friends and boifriends. ppple mus b thinking u shld relax urself sometimes. but i m too relaxed. i kept thinking tt a lot o things mus learn wif lots o practice.. so i do not touch theory much.. y? coz we huf been doin years o theory alreadi.. i m sick it. haha weird isnt it.:)

level o determination now.. whenever i try to do some reading up... like NOW.. i m actually here bloggin n toking rubbbish... instead o reading up seriously!
wat e hell...

rubbish jas... irritating!
i got so mani things to learn n revise.. to refresh my memory and enhance my working capabilities:)

EDH SDH EVD lumbar drain CLC stroke haemorrages laceration decortication decerebration 12 cranial nerves frontal to occipital lobes right sided and left sided paraylsis semi conscious confused comatosed CNS neurons spinal injuries blah blah blah...

tt is how much i m lacking behind.. will i ..? start now?? i dunnoe:) jas.. help urself:)